They buried their abuse for decades. Must-see interview gives greater insight into how young boys respond to sexual abuse.
Former Little Leaguers, James Manfredonia, Bruce Morrison and Timothy Morey had spent nearly half a century hiding a secret. Now, thanks to a newly passed law in New York State, they have filed lawsuits against their former Little League coach Tony Sagona, who they claim had sexually abused them.
Source: NBCnews.com. https://www.nbcnews.com/video/he-was-bothered-by-the-sandusky-story-for-years-a-new-law-allowed-him-to-speak-out-and-seek-justice-73431109653
Great resources, carefully selected, on key topics related to the sexual abuse and assault of boys and men
Here’s a list of carefully vetted resources on key topics related to the sexual abuse and assault of boys and men from 1in6.org. Each has been determined to offer a positive, hopeful message about the potential for healing and recovery and has been found useful by many men with histories of unwanted or abusive sexual experiences, as well as the people who care about them.
Please note that some books may contain graphic content. If you need support, visit the free and anonymous 24/7 national helpline to chat with a trained advocate.
After selecting a category below, you’ll see a list of recommended titles and links to their Amazon pages. For men who are incarcerated, one book is available to borrow for free.
1in6.org, chat confidentially with a trained advocate, 24/7 Chat now
Please share these resources: https://1in6.org/get-information/books-films/
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Why do we keep teaching our children about “stranger danger” when 90% of sexually abused children are exploited by someone in the immediate or extended family, or by someone close to the family?
How do child molesters gain access to their victims?
While some sexual abuse is purely opportunistic, most children are groomed and lured into situations where they are vulnerable to abuse.
Contrary to common “Stranger Danger” warnings, child molesters are rarely strangers; at least 90% of sexually abused children are exploited by someone in the child’s immediate or extended family, or by someone close to the family.
Common grooming strategies include:
1. Befriending parents, particularly single parents, to gain access to their children.
Ninety percent (90%) of sexually abused children are victimized by a parent, close family member or family friend, so there’s no need to “befriend” the parent(s), they’re already in your inner-circle.
2. Offering babysitting services to busy parents or guardians.
3. Taking jobs and participating in community events that involve children.
4. Becoming a guardian or foster parent.
5. Attending sporting events for children.
6. Offering to coach children’s sports.
7. Volunteering in youth organizations.
8. Offering to chaperone overnight trips.
9. Loitering in places children frequent – playgrounds, parks, malls, game arcades, sports fields, etc.
10. Befriending youngsters on social media (Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, etc.) and online gaming platforms.
When and where do most sexual assaults usually happen?
Most child sexual abuse occurs in the home of the victim, the home of the offender, or another residence.**
Eighty-one (81%) of all child sexual abuse occurs in one-on-one situations: one-offender/one-child.
Wherever youth are physically or virtually alone with someone is a potential place where they can be subjected to sexual misconduct or abuse.
With incidents involving juvenile offenders, 1 in 7 sexual assaults occurs on schooldays between 3pm-7pm, with a peak from 3-4pm, right after school. This speaks to the importance of safe after-school care and close supervision of multi-age groups of youngsters.
How do child molesters target their victims?
Early grooming efforts by sexual predators seek to determine if the child has a stable home life, or if the family is facing challenges like poverty, divorce, illness, drugs, homelessness, etc.
Children lacking stability at home are at higher risk for sexual abuse, as there is usually more access to the child and opportunities to abuse the child.
Child molesters will also target kids who are loners, or who look troubled or neglected. Youngsters who smoke, vape or use drugs and alcohol are seen as risk-seekers lacking adequate supervision, and therefore easy targets.
Single moms are often targeted, as they are more likely to be overwhelmed by parenting duties and vulnerable to offers to babysit and/or drive kids to school, practices, lessons and other activities.
Final Thoughts:
Child molesters are family members, relatives, neighbors, coaches, teachers, preachers, friends and our children’s peers. Knowing this – and knowing that adults cannot be with children every moment of every day – it is essential to talk openly with children about personal boundaries and personal safety.
Teach children, age-appropriately, how to recognize and evade the lures used for generations by sexual predators of every kind.
Thankfully, both children and adults are beginning to more readily report sexual abuse and harassment, saying boldly and loudly that these crimes are no longer acceptable.
A listing of phone numbers by state to call and report child abuse.
Provides 24/7 assistance in 170 languages to adults, children and youth with information and questions regarding child abuse. All calls are anonymous and confidential.
Source: https://childluresprevention.com. Accessed, October 14, 2019.
The pedophile network has such technologically advanced, encrypted data bases that it took five years for police to crack.
Some of you may remember when the secret symbols of pedophiles were made public by the FBI in 2006 and 2007. This topic is well-worth revisiting, because pedophiles haven’t gone anywhere, they’re just more sophisticated at hiding.
Here’s the recap.
These are the symbols pedophiles use to signal their sordid sexual preferences. The seemingly innocuous pastel-colored scrawls feature butterflies, love hearts, and spirals. But to FBI agents they signify something much darker.
One of the symbols, a blue spiraling triangle framed by another triangle, is known as the BoyLover logo. It is used by pedophiles who prefer young boys.
Another is for pedophiles who prefer much younger boys. This symbol, known as the LittleBoyLover logo, is also a blue triangle spiral, but drawn in a child-like scrawl. The
The so-called GirlLover logo is a heart inside a heart, indicated that the male or female pedophile prefers young girls.
Pedophiles who do not have a preference of gender use the ChildLover logo, which is a butterfly made up of love hearts.
Finally, there is the Childlove Online Media Activism logo, which pedophiles use as a symbol to promote their ’cause’: that sexual relationships between adults and minors should be decriminalized.
The symbol – a triangle, a love heart and a circle merged into one – has been circulating social media, blogs and webcasts for years. It has even appeared on some children’s toys.
Investigators with the FBI’s Cyber Division Innocent Images National Initiative first discovered the code in 2007.
Identical or similar jewelry and symbols as described in this intelligence bulletin should raise suspicion of possible pedophilia activity when found during searches.’
June-2019, Norwegian police uncovered yet another network of pedophiles, this one operating with such advanced technology that they went undetected for the past 20 years.
Police have seized several million photos and videos of assaults on young boys from around the world.
Encrypted data
The pedophile network has possessed such technological expertise that it built up advanced, encrypted computer data bases so large that police have only managed to get through around 20 percent of the material seized after five years of investigation.
Held positions of trust
The NRK state broadcaster reported that several of the men have worked with children or volunteer in positions that give them extensive contact with young boys. The husband of the male entertainer worked as a football (soccer) referee, according to NRK.
Investigators have worked on the case since 2014, when an Oslo mother overheard her 12-year-old son talking with a friend. He complained of having been groped by a man, an entertainer in his 50s who was a sort of mentor to them both through a local club. He wondered if the other boy had been assaulted as well. He had, and the mother reported the incidents to police.
The attorney acknowledged that the police investigation has revealed how the network of pedophiles operated with secret symbols that could identify their pedophile tendencies. The network includes individuals with unusually high levels of computer expertise. Several of the male suspects work with data technology.
Norwegian police made arrests last year, four years after police finally managed to crack their encrypted files and gain access to the material.
One of the men reportedly had gained responsibility in an international group referred to as “BoyLove” that also allegedly seeks to normalize sexual assault on children.
Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3560069/The-symbols-pedophiles-use-signal-sordid-sexual-preferences-social-media.html. https://www.newsinenglish.no/2019/07/02/police-reveal-advanced-pedophile-ring/
Archbishop’s response to mandatory child sex abuse reporting labelled ‘pig-headed’.
Australia- Melbourne’s Catholic archbishop insists three years jail is preferable to breaking the seal of confession and reporting child sexual abuse to authorities.
Priests will risk prison if they don’t report child abuse revealed to them during the sacrament of confession, under new laws introduced in Victoria.
The bill, introduced into state parliament would make religious ministers mandatory reporters of abuse suspicions alongside police, teachers, medical practitioners and early childhood workers.
“I don’t think in contemporary and mainstream times, knowing what we know now, that we can do anything other than say the rights of children trump anyone’s religious views,” the attorney general, Jill Hennessy, told reporters.
“Ultimately this is about making sure that we start to right the wrongs of systemic abuse.”
Archbishop Peter Comensoli said he’d ask someone who admitted abuse to tell him outside the box but if they refused he would “keep the seal”.
“I hold the principle of mandatory reporting … and I also hold onto the principle of the seal of confession. My own position is that I don’t see that as mutually exclusive,” he told ABC Radio on Wednesday.
The archbishop’s office later released a statement saying the church welcomed the proposed expansion of mandatory reporting to include religious ministers, but denied the seal of confession was an obstacle to mandatory reporting.
“Confession doesn’t place people above the law. Priests should be mandatory reporters, but in a similar way to protections to the lawyer/client relationship and protection for journalists’ sources.”
Catholic archbishops in the ACT and South Australia have also vowed to defy similar laws.
Melbourne’s most senior Catholic also revealed he saw disgraced cardinal and convicted child abuser George Pell in prison about two months ago, as he awaits the outcome of his appeal over his conviction for sexual abuse.
“I think he has a sense of waiting, as anything there would be a psychological agitation about waiting for what’s going to be the outcome of the appeal, but I found him strong spiritually and calm and very conversive,” Comensoli said.
Under the proposed Victorian laws, priests and spiritual leaders face up to three years’ jail if they don’t report child physical and sexual abuse allegations.
Archbishop’s response to mandatory child sex abuse reporting labelled ‘pig-headed’.
“I would expect anyone who is aware of a commission of a crime would have the wherewithal and the personal ethics to report that crime,” Hennessy said.
The Andrews Labor government’s reforms would also allow survivors of institutional abuse to apply to the supreme court to overturn “unfair” compensation settlements previously signed with churches.
Chrissie Foster, who with her late husband fought for years for compensation for their two girls who were abused by a Catholic priest, said there was no excuse for priests who failed to report confessions of abuse.
“The Catholic priesthood tried to get away with a basement bargain deal with all of this. They should pay until they can’t stand up,” Foster said.
In the same bill, anyone denied a working-with-children check for serious crimes such as rape and murder would no longer be able to appeal that refusal.
The Blue Knot Foundation, the national centre for excellence in complex trauma, hit out at the Catholic church’s opposition to the law.
“Whatever justification church authorities present to support this stance, the continued suggestion that the Catholic church is above the secular law of the society in which it operates is unfortunate to say the least,” spokeswoman Dr. Pam Stavropoulos said.
Victoria’s Liberal-National opposition has previously indicated it would back a law mandating priests report child abuse allegations.
But party leader Michael O’Brien on Tuesday said he wanted to see the details of the bill.
“I’d like to think that in Victoria in 2019, we can make sure we can protect kids and we should also be able to respect freedom of religion. Let’s see if the government has got that balance right,” he said.
Crossbench MP Fiona Patten welcomed the government’s move, saying “I think that Jesus would mandatory report”.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/aug/14/victorian-bill-would-compel-priests-to-report-child-abuse-confessions-or-risk-jail . By: Lisa Martin Australian Associated Press. Accessed- September 18, 2019.
Peer-on-peer abuse is often undetected by parents, who assumed their kids are safe around other kids.
New research has confirmed the alarming number of children sexually abusing other children.
The national survey commissioned by Act for Kids revealed a staggering 24% of child abuse cases involve another child.
It also showed peer-on-peer abuse was often undetected by parents, who assumed their kids are safe around other kids.
Act for Kids released the research ahead of Child Protection Week (September 1-7) to urge parents to take the necessary steps to protect their children online and learn more about the warning signs of problematic sexual behaviors.
The survey of 2,000 people living in Australia revealed, while three quarters blame access to adult content for problematic behaviours, two-thirds of parents still fail to secure their devices and one in two allow their children unsupervised access online.
While there are a number of places children might learn problematic behaviors, easy access to age-inappropriate content is a major factor in influencing these young minds.
Act for Kids program manager Miranda Bain said the survey findings were both surprising and scary,
“There is a lack of knowledge amongst parents of what constitutes problematic sexual behaviours in children and how these behaviors have the potential to lead to more harmful peer-on-peer abuse,” Ms Bain said.
“While there are a number of places children might learn problematic behaviors, easy access to age-inappropriate content is a major factor in influencing these young minds.”
Act for Kids Executive Services Director and Psychologist, Dr. Katrina Lines said, it was vital parents take the necessary steps to protect their children online and learn more about the warning signs of problematic sexual behaviors.
Dr. Lines explains, “Some steps parents can take to protect their kids is making sure they understand normal child sexual development and curiosity and share accurate facts and information about sexuality with their children,”
“I think parents should ensure they spend quality time with their kids doing fun things without technology. Teaching children protective behaviors, especially about private and public body parts is also relevant.”
Each state has laws that prevent someone from being prosecuted for a crime after a certain period of time, these are known as statutes of limitations.
When a crime is committed, there is a window of time that a state has to charge the perpetrator. The laws that determine this time frame are called criminal statutes of limitations. As high-profile cases of sexual violence continue to make headlines—and as survivors seek to report crimes—it can help to have a better understanding of these laws and how they vary.
Each state has laws that prevent someone from being prosecuted for a crime after a certain period of time, these are known as statutes of limitations. Some states provide exceptions to their time limits—for example, if DNA evidence is discovered, the state is allowed more time to prosecute.
Use this map to find out how your state compares: https://www.rainn.org/statutes-limitations
To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
Source: https://www.rainn.org/
If a pedophile confesses to a clergy member that he just raped a 9 year old, by law, it doesn’t have to be reported. ***Take Poll***
In all states any person concerned for the welfare or safety of a child can voluntarily file a report with Child Protective Services (CPS). You do not have to be in a professional relationship with a family to contact CPS or police on behalf of a child.
All professionals and volunteers who work with minors are mandated reporters. That is, with the exception of members of clergy. The term ‘clergy’ includes ministers, priests, rabbis, imams, or similar functionaries, by whatever name called, of a bona fide religious organization.
Therefore, if a pedophile confesses to raping a 9 year old, the religious leader is not obligated to report it! That is, if the clergyman is a part of a legitimate religious organization and their doctrine states that keeping a confession confidential takes precedence over the safety of an innocent child.
Who are mandated reporters?
Fortunately, 26 states have revised their reporting laws to now include clergy as mandatory reporters. In those states a faith leader’s knowledge of child abuse (of any kind) can no longer be considered privileged or confidential information.
As for the other 24 states and its religious leaders, under certain circumstances reporting a molested child is… well…optional.
In Georgia, here’s how the law makes it optional for clergy to report child abuse.
State of Georgia: Current Through April 2019 Citation: Ann. Code § 19-7-5 A member of the clergy shall not be required to report child abuse reported solely within the context of confession or other similar communication required to be kept confidential under church doctrine or practice. When a clergy member receives information about child abuse from any other source, the clergy member shall comply with the reporting requirements of this code section, even though the clergy member may have also received a report of child abuse from the confession of the perpetrator.
Essentially, in Georgia, if the priest/bishop/pastor overheard a conversation at the bake-sale that little Johnny was sexually assaulted by his stepfather, the pastor is required to report it. But, the pastor already knew about it because the step-dad mentioned it in confession months ago.
The priest/bishop/pastor chose not to report it to authorities the first time because the information was divulged during a confidential confession, which [by law] isn’t mandatory to report. Guess we’d just have to keep our fingers crossed that it’d be reported the second time around. Meanwhile, little Johnny endured an additional six months of abuse because a trusted adult made a conscious decision to keep it ‘confidential’.
To read the specific mandatory reporting statute for your state, consult https://www.childwelfare.gov
What are your thoughts?
Source: https://www.stopitnow.org/
In the United States, government authorities respond to a child sexual abuse report every 9 minutes. Recognizing the signs of abuse is the first step in protecting a child who’s in danger. Unfortunately, the signs aren’t always apparent.
Ninety-three percent (93%) of child sexual assault victims already know their abuser. Sexual predators are usually close to the family and in positions of trust, which means that parents and caregivers already have their guards down. It’s hard to fathom that someone in your inner-circle could be capable of violating a child.
#1. The grooming stage.
One thing abusers have in common is their effort to gain trust.
Those efforts may include: gift giving without occasion or reason, allowing the child to witness them giving elaborate gifts to others (attempt to impress), taking the child out to eat, movies, being overly complimentary to the parent and/or child, extra time with one-on-one tutoring or coaching (alone time) trips out of town, and more.
Single moms beware! Initially you may be flattered that this person has taken a special interest in your child, but in reality the abuser sees you and your child as an easy target.
Keep your eye out for the grooming stage!
#2. Common misconceptions.
At least 1 in 6 men have experienced sexual abuse or assault, whether in childhood or as adults. Don’t be blindsided!
Research on male childhood sexual abuse concluded that the problem is common, under-reported, under-recognized, and under-treated.
Parents, we must remain as diligent with protecting our sons as we are with protecting our daughters.
MYTH: Men who abuse boys are gay. FALSE.
Studies suggest that men who have sexually abused a boy most often identify as heterosexual and often are involved in adult heterosexual relationships at the time of abusive interaction.
#3. Bedwetting or resuming behaviors they have grown out of.
Resuming behaviors of a younger child such as thumb sucking or wetting the bed are red-flags.
If you have a pre-teen or teenager, don’t dismiss bedwetting as just an isolated incidence. Pay attention!
#4. Unexplained bruising or spots on the sheets.
When children play outside and are involved in sports, a little blood here and there may not be cause for alarm. If you have boys, cuts and bruises are the norm and won’t even warrant a second look.
But, as we now know, any unexplained stains on the sheets or clothing is worth a mini-investigation.
#5. Sexual behavior that is inappropriate for the child’s age.
Other warning signs include; excessive talk about or knowledge of sexual topics, asking other children to behave sexually or play sexual games.
A toddler masturbating or mimicking adult-like sexual behaviors with stuffed animals, toys or other objects is a strong sign of sexual abuse.
#6. Typical pedophilia behavior: Tries to be a child’s friend rather than filling an adult role in the child’s life.
– Abusers are often in a positions which give them access to children (i.e. church, coaching, mentoring) either as a career or volunteer.
– The abuser may often talk with children about their personal problems and relationships.
– They may vocalize how much they “love kids” and have several relationships with children outside the scope of their professional realm.
Typical Signs in adolescents:
Violations of trust are betrayals that have lasting effects. Parents, this is a matter of life or death, you can’t be too cautious. Remember, you are not alone. If you suspect sexual abuse you can talk to someone who is trained to help.
National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
Online Prevention Training- https://www.stopitnow.org/prevention-training-on-demand
References: Rainn.org, Stopitnow.org, 1in6- https://1in6.org/get-information/the-1-in-6-statistic/
According to the FBI, sextortion cases are up 60 percent in the last five years.
It can happen in a matter of minutes, but the trauma can stay with victims forever.
Unlike cyberbullying, which most parents know about and discuss with their teens, sextortion isn’t on a lot of parents’ radars, leaving kids unguarded and vulnerable to attacks.
The Youth Advocate 