They buried their abuse for decades. Must-see interview gives greater insight into how young boys respond to sexual abuse.
Former Little Leaguers, James Manfredonia, Bruce Morrison and Timothy Morey had spent nearly half a century hiding a secret. Now, thanks to a newly passed law in New York State, they have filed lawsuits against their former Little League coach Tony Sagona, who they claim had sexually abused them.
Source: NBCnews.com. https://www.nbcnews.com/video/he-was-bothered-by-the-sandusky-story-for-years-a-new-law-allowed-him-to-speak-out-and-seek-justice-73431109653
Male survivors have a much higher risk of depression and PTSD, alcohol and drug abuse, and suicide than other men. More and more males are finding support through group therapy and online resources.
When Sam was 12 years old, he was targeted by a child molester. Sam (whose name, like all survivors in this story, has been changed at his request) asked a neighbor for assistance on a school project. While he worked, the man surprised him by touching him inappropriately. The abuse continued for another five years and included violent rape and other crimes.
As is the case with so many child sexual abuse cases, the man manipulated and terrified Sam with threats of what would happen if he told anybody. Sam kept quiet, but the abuse affected him profoundly. His grades slipped and he became withdrawn and depressed. Teachers noticed that he was struggling, but never thought to inquire as to why his behavior had gone from upbeat and enthusiastic to depressed and disengaged. In one class, Sam forgot an an assignment, and the teacher gave him two weeks of detention. Continue reading…
— Article source- Joanna Schroeder. brightthemag.com/for-male-survivors-healing-through-chat-77132a56dc6f. Accessed- October 28, 2019.
10/16/19- Bloomberg: Police along with the IRS, and Criminal Division of the Justice Department were able de-anonymize Bitcoin transactions to nail a 23-year-old South Korean man who hosted over 1 million downloads and 250 individual files of child pornography.
Watch report: https://www.youtube.com/embed/6t2_ur7YIDI
Why do we keep teaching our children about “stranger danger” when 90% of sexually abused children are exploited by someone in the immediate or extended family, or by someone close to the family?
How do child molesters gain access to their victims?
While some sexual abuse is purely opportunistic, most children are groomed and lured into situations where they are vulnerable to abuse.
Contrary to common “Stranger Danger” warnings, child molesters are rarely strangers; at least 90% of sexually abused children are exploited by someone in the child’s immediate or extended family, or by someone close to the family.
Common grooming strategies include:
1. Befriending parents, particularly single parents, to gain access to their children.
Ninety percent (90%) of sexually abused children are victimized by a parent, close family member or family friend, so there’s no need to “befriend” the parent(s), they’re already in your inner-circle.
2. Offering babysitting services to busy parents or guardians.
3. Taking jobs and participating in community events that involve children.
4. Becoming a guardian or foster parent.
5. Attending sporting events for children.
6. Offering to coach children’s sports.
7. Volunteering in youth organizations.
8. Offering to chaperone overnight trips.
9. Loitering in places children frequent – playgrounds, parks, malls, game arcades, sports fields, etc.
10. Befriending youngsters on social media (Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, etc.) and online gaming platforms.
When and where do most sexual assaults usually happen?
Most child sexual abuse occurs in the home of the victim, the home of the offender, or another residence.**
Eighty-one (81%) of all child sexual abuse occurs in one-on-one situations: one-offender/one-child.
Wherever youth are physically or virtually alone with someone is a potential place where they can be subjected to sexual misconduct or abuse.
With incidents involving juvenile offenders, 1 in 7 sexual assaults occurs on schooldays between 3pm-7pm, with a peak from 3-4pm, right after school. This speaks to the importance of safe after-school care and close supervision of multi-age groups of youngsters.
How do child molesters target their victims?
Early grooming efforts by sexual predators seek to determine if the child has a stable home life, or if the family is facing challenges like poverty, divorce, illness, drugs, homelessness, etc.
Children lacking stability at home are at higher risk for sexual abuse, as there is usually more access to the child and opportunities to abuse the child.
Child molesters will also target kids who are loners, or who look troubled or neglected. Youngsters who smoke, vape or use drugs and alcohol are seen as risk-seekers lacking adequate supervision, and therefore easy targets.
Single moms are often targeted, as they are more likely to be overwhelmed by parenting duties and vulnerable to offers to babysit and/or drive kids to school, practices, lessons and other activities.
Final Thoughts:
Child molesters are family members, relatives, neighbors, coaches, teachers, preachers, friends and our children’s peers. Knowing this – and knowing that adults cannot be with children every moment of every day – it is essential to talk openly with children about personal boundaries and personal safety.
Teach children, age-appropriately, how to recognize and evade the lures used for generations by sexual predators of every kind.
Thankfully, both children and adults are beginning to more readily report sexual abuse and harassment, saying boldly and loudly that these crimes are no longer acceptable.
A listing of phone numbers by state to call and report child abuse.
Provides 24/7 assistance in 170 languages to adults, children and youth with information and questions regarding child abuse. All calls are anonymous and confidential.
Source: https://childluresprevention.com. Accessed, October 14, 2019.
The body remembers what the conscious mind chooses to forget.
This article isn’t meant to make anyone paranoid. But recognizing the signs of abuse may help you heal and/or provide support to someone close to you.
Wouldn’t I remember it if I was abused?
Child-victims of sexual abuse often do not remember the experience. In fact having no memory of certain parts of your childhood is often an indicator trauma of some form took place.
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) estimates that in the UK, almost one in four children (24.1%) experience sexual abuse. It’s a terrifying statistic, made more sobering considering that being sexually abused as a child can cause lifelong negative repercussions if victims do not find the support they need to heal.
What is sexual abuse?
It’s important to understand what qualifies as sexual abuse before dismissing an experience you might have had.
Sexual abuse does not have to be between a child and a ‘grownup’. It can, for example, be an older sibling who abuses you. Or it might have been a child of a similar age forcing you to do things against your will.
It is now recognized that sexual abuse does not even have to involve physicality to be extraordinarily damaging to a child and the future adult they will become.
Sexual abuse can can be any situation where a child is exploited for the sexual pleasure of another. Non-contact or ‘covert’ sexual abuse, can be things like an adult who constantly exposed their body to you, forced you to expose your body, showed you pornography, or an adult who constantly talked about sexual things to you.
Non-contact sexual abuse can be something like a child whose father always talks about her body being too sexual when she is going through puberty, or whose mother strips her and makes her stand naked in her room for hours as ‘punishment’ for ‘being bad’, can both result in the same symptoms of other forms of sexual abuse.
Psychoanalytical psychotherapy came up with the still popular idea that when things are too traumatic for the conscious brain they are delegated to the hidden ‘unconscious’ mind. Nowadays we understand the brain is not composed of clearly marked ‘closets’, and that trauma affects the brain in far more complicated ways.
Sexual abuse can cause many issues, not just in your behaviors, but in your relationships, your sex life, the way you treat yourself, personal identity, low self-esteem, stress management, it might be harder to reach goals or move forward in life. It can also cause long-term symptoms of trauma, similar to or including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Have I been sexually abused? Knowing the signs.
Healthy relationships tend to be very challenging if you experienced sexual abuse as a child.
Do you experience some of the following?
Trust issues
Sexual abuse as a child can also really affect the way you approach sex.
Do you recognize yourself in the following?
You might also constantly attract relationships which ‘re-enact’ abuse. This can look like:
Being sexually abused as a child or adolescent can lead to physical symptoms as well, or issues with your body. These can include:
The trauma of sexual abuse leads to many other psychological issues. Do you feel you might also suffer from some of the following?
And finally, sexual abuse is linked to the manifestation of certain personality disorders, in particular borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder.
Now I’m worried this might be me – what do I do?
The symptoms above are comprehensive, and many are also symptoms and signs of various other psychological issues. So the first thing to do is not to panic.
Unearthing previous trauma can lead to falling into a ‘vortex’ of research and worry. You can spend days or weeks in front of the computer or on forums and lose sight of the rest of your life. Try to stay balanced and practice good self-care until you can find support.
If you suspect you were sexually abused as a child, you might find yourself suddenly experiencing large waves of anger and fury. It is highly advised you don’t react by immediately contacting and accusing all the people who might have abused you.
You will be doing this from a vulnerable place, and can put yourself at risk of attack, psychological manipulation, and emotional abuse. You might even in the process alienate yourself from other family and friends whose support you count on.
Again, seek professional support first. A qualified mental health professional will help you process the experience and reach a more stable place. Then you will be better prepared to decide if, how, and when you will approach those involved.
Click here for a list of resources.
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Source: Original, unedited article by Wade Harris. https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/were-you-sexually-abused-as-a-child.html. Accessed October 7, 2019.
Surprisingly, psychological, also known as ‘emotional abuse’ of a child can have more long-lasting negative psychiatric effects than either childhood physical abuse or childhood sexual abuse.
Psychological abuse of a child is a pattern of intentional verbal or behavioral actions or lack of actions that convey to a child the message that he or she is worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, endangered, or only of value to meet someone else’s needs.
Withholding emotional support, isolation, or terrorizing a child are forms of psychological abuse. Domestic violence that is witnessed by a child is also considered a form of psychological abuse.
Psychological abuse of a child is often divided into nine categories:
1. Rejection: to reject a child, to push him away, to make him feel that he is useless or worthless, to undermine the value of his ideas or feelings, to refuse to help him.
2. Scorn: to demean the child, to ridicule him, to humiliate him, to cause him to be ashamed, to criticize the child, to insult him.
3. Terrorism: to threaten a child or someone who is dear to him with physical violence, abandonment or death, to threaten to destroy the child’s possessions, to place him in chaotic or dangerous situations, to define strict and unreasonable expectations and to threaten him with punishment if he does not comply.
4. Isolation: to physically or socially isolate a child, to limit his opportunities to socialize with others.
5. Corruption or exploitation: to tolerate or encourage inappropriate or deviant behavior, to expose the child to antisocial role-models, to consider the child as a servant, to encourage him or coerce him to participate in sexual activities.
6. The absence of emotional response: to show oneself as inattentive or indifferent towards the child, to ignore his emotional needs, to avoid visual contact, kisses or verbal communication with him, to never congratulate him.
Neglect: to ignore the health or educational needs of the child, to refuse or to neglect to apply the required treatment. (See: What is Child Neglect?)
7. Exposure to domestic violence: to expose a child to violent words and acts between his parents.
The behavior of an emotionally abusive parent or caregiver does not support a child’s healthy development and well-being-instead, it creates an environment of fear, hostility, or anxiety. A child is sensitive to the feeling, opinions, and actions of his or her parents.
This behavior often includes rejecting the child by:
Emotionally abusive parents say things or convey feelings that can hurt a child deeply. Common examples include:
Symptoms of psychological abuse of a child may include:
Psychological abuse of a child can have long-lasting negative psychiatric effects. Learn about the types and symptoms of psychological abuse.
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/how/
APA Reference
Gluck, S. (2011, November 23). What is Psychological Abuse of a Child?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, September 27 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/child-psychological-abuse/what-is-psychological-abuse-of-a-child
Every nine minutes, government authorities respond to another report of child sexual abuse.
The possibility of children being harmed is always a tough subject for me to talk or write about, but we can never be too careful when it comes to our babies. Every nine minutes, government authorities respond to another report of child sexual abuse. Moms, we must keep the conversation going.
It’s not always easy to spot sexual abuse because perpetrators take extra precautions to hide their actions. Some signs of abuse are easier to spot than others; here’s a comprehensive list of the most common red-flags in toddlers.
A toddler who is being sexually abused may suddenly display personality characteristics not previously seen. For example, your child may seem anxious, insecure or depressed, according to New York University’s Langone Medical Center. Confident children may also become clingy or withdrawn. Some sex abuse victims suffer from low self-esteem and may have trouble making friends their age.
A young child being sexually abused will often undergo behavior changes as a result of the abuse. Young children, in particular, are likely to begin acting in an age-inappropriate manner. For example, she may begin sucking her thumb or being wetting her pants or the bed even though she is already potty-trained, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Changes in sleep patterns are also possible, with toddlers having trouble falling asleep or having regular nightmares.
A toddler being sexually abused may also begin to display some sexual behaviors. For example, he may act out sexual acts with stuffed animals or other toys or may draw pictures of sexual acts, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Young children may also masturbate frequently or try to initiate sexual behavior with their friends or siblings.
A young sexual abuse victim may suddenly seem fearful of certain people or situations, including avoiding situations in which she will encounter her abuser. They may be afraid or getting undressed even at appropriate times, such as for bathing, or seem fearful of visiting the doctor or being examined by a health professional, according to Langone Medical Center. Some children also become fearful or going to the bathroom despite earlier success.
Physical signs rarely are noticed in cases of child sexual abuse, according to the Stop It Now! organization. Still, some possible indications of sexual abuse include vaginal or anal discharge; pain or itching in the genital region; frequent urinary tract infections or sore throats; pain while urinating or having a bowel movement; and redness, bleeding, or bruising in the genital or anal area. Some abuse victims also begin to complain of physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches.
Remember, you are not alone.
If you suspect sexual abuse you can talk to someone who is trained to help. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
Sources: Rainn.org. / https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young-children.
https://healthfully.com/signs- childrenof-sexual-abuse-in-a-toddler-5625844.html. Accessed September 22, 2019.
Each state has laws that prevent a child sex offender from being prosecuted.
When a crime is committed, there is a window of time that a state has to charge the perpetrator. The laws that determine this time frame are called criminal statutes of limitations.
As high-profile cases of sexual violence continue to make headlines—and as survivors seek to report crimes—it can help to have a better understanding of these laws and how they vary.
From the legal definition of rape to the statute of limitation for a particular sex crime, where you live makes a difference. Here’s a guide to the laws in your state.
Follow RAINN on Twitter at @rainnaction to be the first to know about our state policy work. #ActWithRAINN
RAINN.org- https://www.rainn.org/public-policy-action
The pedophile network has such technologically advanced, encrypted data bases that it took five years for police to crack.
Some of you may remember when the secret symbols of pedophiles were made public by the FBI in 2006 and 2007. This topic is well-worth revisiting, because pedophiles haven’t gone anywhere, they’re just more sophisticated at hiding.
Here’s the recap.
These are the symbols pedophiles use to signal their sordid sexual preferences. The seemingly innocuous pastel-colored scrawls feature butterflies, love hearts, and spirals. But to FBI agents they signify something much darker.
One of the symbols, a blue spiraling triangle framed by another triangle, is known as the BoyLover logo. It is used by pedophiles who prefer young boys.
Another is for pedophiles who prefer much younger boys. This symbol, known as the LittleBoyLover logo, is also a blue triangle spiral, but drawn in a child-like scrawl. The
The so-called GirlLover logo is a heart inside a heart, indicated that the male or female pedophile prefers young girls.
Pedophiles who do not have a preference of gender use the ChildLover logo, which is a butterfly made up of love hearts.
Finally, there is the Childlove Online Media Activism logo, which pedophiles use as a symbol to promote their ’cause’: that sexual relationships between adults and minors should be decriminalized.
The symbol – a triangle, a love heart and a circle merged into one – has been circulating social media, blogs and webcasts for years. It has even appeared on some children’s toys.
Investigators with the FBI’s Cyber Division Innocent Images National Initiative first discovered the code in 2007.
Identical or similar jewelry and symbols as described in this intelligence bulletin should raise suspicion of possible pedophilia activity when found during searches.’
June-2019, Norwegian police uncovered yet another network of pedophiles, this one operating with such advanced technology that they went undetected for the past 20 years.
Police have seized several million photos and videos of assaults on young boys from around the world.
Encrypted data
The pedophile network has possessed such technological expertise that it built up advanced, encrypted computer data bases so large that police have only managed to get through around 20 percent of the material seized after five years of investigation.
Held positions of trust
The NRK state broadcaster reported that several of the men have worked with children or volunteer in positions that give them extensive contact with young boys. The husband of the male entertainer worked as a football (soccer) referee, according to NRK.
Investigators have worked on the case since 2014, when an Oslo mother overheard her 12-year-old son talking with a friend. He complained of having been groped by a man, an entertainer in his 50s who was a sort of mentor to them both through a local club. He wondered if the other boy had been assaulted as well. He had, and the mother reported the incidents to police.
The attorney acknowledged that the police investigation has revealed how the network of pedophiles operated with secret symbols that could identify their pedophile tendencies. The network includes individuals with unusually high levels of computer expertise. Several of the male suspects work with data technology.
Norwegian police made arrests last year, four years after police finally managed to crack their encrypted files and gain access to the material.
One of the men reportedly had gained responsibility in an international group referred to as “BoyLove” that also allegedly seeks to normalize sexual assault on children.
Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3560069/The-symbols-pedophiles-use-signal-sordid-sexual-preferences-social-media.html. https://www.newsinenglish.no/2019/07/02/police-reveal-advanced-pedophile-ring/
If you are an adult concerned for a friend or loved one who you know or suspect has experienced sexual abuse as a child, your support and understanding can be critical to their recovery.
Adults who have had experiences of sexual abuse as children need and deserve a chance to speak about their experiences with those who understand and can help.
Survivors of child sexual abuse can also play a critical role in the prevention of further abuse to other children. If you or someone you love needs support to recover, now is the time to reach out for help. Find the support you deserve.
If you are a survivor of sexual abuse as a child, it is very important to seek professional support and guidance for your recovery.
The impact of sexual abuse by another child, teen or adult can change over time. The changes unfold as a young person grows into adulthood and continue throughout a lifetime.
Even if you were offered support and resources earlier in life, if you are feeling the need for support at this time, we encourage you to seek the help you need and deserve. You can find resources and support here.
If you feel that the person who abused you currently poses a risk to a child or teen, it is important to share your concerns with others who can be allies to you in taking steps to protect this young person. We can help you find allies who share your concerns.
Perhaps you are recognizing signs of risk in the child or the adult. Maybe this child is near the age when you yourself suffered abuse. We urge you to trust your intuitions and act on your instincts by speaking to other adults who can take steps to protect this child.
There are many steps that can be taken before a child is harmed. You don’t have to wait until there is “proof” that abuse has occurred to act.
Learn about the statute of limitations in your state for reporting child sexual abuse. Filing reports about your own abuse (with the support of a counselor) can be a step to take if you believe that the same person who harmed you may have abused someone who is now a minor.
If others are already concerned, your coming forward can help ease the burden of disclosure the child or teen may be facing.
Care enough to take the risk and talk about it. If you are an adult concerned for a friend or loved one who you know or suspect has experienced sexual abuse as a child, your support and understanding can be critical to their recovery.
There are many resources that can help you to better understand what an adult survivor may be experiencing now and how the recovery process evolves over time. Sharing the resources you find here with the person you’re concerned about is a great place to start.
Support resources for family, friends and partners are important as well – by acknowledging how a loved one’s abuse can personally affect you, you are taking a step in becoming a safe adult for those who experienced sexual abuse.
Source: Stopitnow.org. https://stopitnow.org/help-guidance/online-help-center/adult-survivor. Accessed- September 19, 2019
The Youth Advocate 