Tag: Teens

Borderline Personality Disorder, what exactly is it?

If you know someone who’s extremely sensitive and triggered about the smallest things, read this.

The majority of my posts bring attention to child sexual abuse, its long-term effects, and prevention. Honestly, I hadn’t heard much about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and didn’t begin researching it (until about a year ago) when someone close to me was diagnosed with it, presumably caused by their childhood trauma.

How is BPD different from common irritability, anxiety or depression? If you or someone you know is extremely sensitive, has explosive anger and volatile/unstable relationships, this post is worth reading.

BPD Simplified

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

With BPD, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Almost everything in your world is unstable. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

People with BPD tend to be extremely sensitive. Some describe it as like having an exposed nerve ending. Small things can trigger intense reactions. And once upset, you have trouble calming down. It’s easy to understand how this emotional volatility and inability to self-soothe leads to relationship turmoil and impulsive—even reckless—behavior.

Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.

Causes

Some factors related to personality development can increase the risk of developing borderline personality disorder. These include:

  • Hereditary predisposition. You may be at a higher risk if a close relative — your mother, father, brother or sister — has the same or a similar disorder.
  • Stressful childhood. Many people with the disorder report being sexually or physically abused or neglected during childhood.
  • Some people have lost or were separated from a parent or close caregiver when they were young or had parents or caregivers with substance misuse or other mental health issues. Others have been exposed to hostile conflict and unstable family relationships.

A diagnosis of borderline personality disorder is usually made in adults, not in children or teenagers. That’s because what appear to be signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may go away as children get older and become more mature.

Diagnosing Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) manifests in many different ways, but for the purposes of diagnosis, mental health professionals group the symptoms into nine major categories.

In order to be diagnosed with BPD, you must show signs of at least five of these symptoms. Furthermore, the symptoms must be long-standing (usually beginning in adolescence) and impact many areas of your life.

Bipolar disorder vs. Borderline Personality Disorder. Bipolar Disorder is a mental (or brain) disorder, while BPD is an emotional disorder. Both disorders are characterized by mood swings, but the length and intensity of these mood swings are different.

The Nine symptoms of BPD

1. Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one’s movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.

2. Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash as a result of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.

3. Unclear or shifting self-image. When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don’t have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.

4. Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.

5. Self harm. Suicidal behavior or deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD. Suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm encompasses all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cutting and burning.

6. Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.

8. Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.

9. Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you’re outside your own body.

BPD is treatable. Healing is a matter of breaking the dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that are causing you distress. It’s not easy to change lifelong habits.

In the past, many mental health professionals found it difficult to treat BPD, so they came to the conclusion that there was little to be done. But we now know that BPD is treatable. In fact, the long-term prognosis for BPD is better than those for depression and bipolar disorder. However, it requires a specialized approach.

The bottom line is that most people with BPD can and do get better—and they do so fairly rapidly with the right treatments and support.

Help is available right now!

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts self-image, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

Sources: 1. Mayo Clinic – https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20370242. 2. Helpguide.org- http://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.html

Teen Siblings Create notOK App for Peers in Distress

Charlie said his motivation for building the app came from watching his sister spiral into depression.

What a great idea! This may be old news to some but I’m just hearing about it.

If one button could change everything, save a life or help a teen, wouldn’t you tell everyone about it?

When Hannah Lucas was diagnosed last year with a medical condition that caused frequent fainting, she felt scared and alone.

“I started passing out more and more often and I was terrified of going anywhere,” Hannah, 15, told ABC News. “Because what if I passed out and no one was around or what if someone took advantage of me?”

Hannah, a high school sophomore from Georgia, became anxious and depressed and started to self-harm, she said.

From that dark point in her life, Hannah and her younger brother, Charlie Lucas, 13, created an app to help people in distress.

The idea for the notOK App came from Hannah, who told her mom she wished there was an app she could use to quickly alert her family and friends when she needed help either physically or emotionally.

Charlie heard his sister’s idea and used coding skills he learned in summer camp to design the app.

“I helped illustrate it out so he would know what to do,” Hannah said of her brother. “He looked at my drawings and he coded it to tell the coders exactly what I wanted and how I wanted it to look.”

Charlie said his motivation for building the app came from watching his sister spiral into depression.

“I saw Hannah depressed, and she told me about her idea, and I started wire-framing it,” he said. “Making this app made her feel better and that made me feel better.”

Hannah pitched the app while taking a summer class on entrepreneurship at Georgia Tech. Professors there were so intrigued by the siblings’ creation that they connected the family with a development company in Savannah.

Over the course of five months, Hannah and Charlie worked side by side with the developers, often over Skype, to see their idea for the app turn into reality.

They also compiled research on mental health statistics to make the case that their app would find an audience.

Mental illness is defined by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder. One in six U.S. adults lives with a mental illness, the institute reports.

Among adolescents, an estimated 49.5 percent between the ages 13 to 18 have a mental disorder, according to NIMH.

NotOK was launched in February 2018, both iOS and Android versions. The app, was originally came with a $2.99 monthly fee, but is now offered for Free. It allows users to press a button that sends a text message to up to five preselected contacts.

The text, along with a link to the user’s current GPS location, shows up on the contacts’ phones with the message, “Hey, I’m not OK. Please call me, text me, or come find me.”

“The reaction we’ve heard has been really positive, especially from parents and kids suffering with anxiety,” Hannah said. “Those kids don’t know the words to tell somebody.”

Hannah added of the app, “It definitely gave me a sense of comfort.”

Original source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodmorningamerica.com/amp/wellness/story/teens-struggle-depression-led-brother-create-app-52791054. By KATIE KINDELAN. Accessed September 12,2019.

Good News: Reaching Suicide Prevention Lifeline Will Get Easier

Reaching the nation’s suicide prevention hotline will soon become much easier.

The Federal Communications Commission is working to institute a new three-digit phone number — 988 — to access crisis counselors.

The number would function like 911, which is used for emergencies, and 311 which, in many parts of the country, connects citizens with city services, NBC’s “Today” says.

The move is gaining traction during September, which is Suicide Awareness Month. It would make crucial, life-saving services easier to access, according to advocates. Currently, to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, callers must dial (800) 273-TALK. You can also text TALK to 741741.

There’s no way most of them are going to remember the 800 numbers,” Lynn Bufka, with the American Psychological Association, told The Associated Press. “988 makes it much easier to remember.”

An estimated 45,000 Americans committed suicide in 2016, according to the Centers for Disease Prevention and Control. Those are the most recent figures available.

There is no official timeline for when “988” would become active.

Source: www.onlineathens.com/news/20190904/suicide-prevention-month-new-3-digit-hotline-on-way-for-those-who-need-help

Alarming number of children sexually abusing other children, study shows

Peer-on-peer abuse is often undetected by parents, who assumed their kids are safe around other kids.

The national survey commissioned by Act for Kids revealed a staggering 24% of child abuse cases involve another child.

It also showed peer-on-peer abuse was often undetected by parents, who assumed their kids are safe around other kids.

Act for Kids released the research ahead of Child Protection Week (September 1-7) to urge parents to take the necessary steps to protect their children online and learn more about the warning signs of problematic sexual behaviors.

The survey of 2,000 people living in Australia revealed, while three quarters blame access to adult content for problematic behaviours, two-thirds of parents still fail to secure their devices and one in two allow their children unsupervised access online.

While there are a number of places children might learn problematic behaviors, easy access to age-inappropriate content is a major factor in influencing these young minds.

Act for Kids program manager Miranda Bain said the survey findings were both surprising and scary,

“There is a lack of knowledge amongst parents of what constitutes problematic sexual behaviours in children and how these behaviors have the potential to lead to more harmful peer-on-peer abuse,” Ms Bain said.

“While there are a number of places children might learn problematic behaviors, easy access to age-inappropriate content is a major factor in influencing these young minds.”

Act for Kids Executive Services Director and Psychologist, Dr. Katrina Lines said, it was vital parents take the necessary steps to protect their children online and learn more about the warning signs of problematic sexual behaviors.

Dr. Lines explains, “Some steps parents can take to protect their kids is making sure they understand normal child sexual development and curiosity and share accurate facts and information about sexuality with their children,”

Source: www.illawarramercury.com.au/story/6361787/alarming-number-of-children-sexually-abusing-other-children-study-shows/

New Study: Linking Fast Food to Teen Depression

Preteens are known for their defiant attitudes and dramatic mood swings, but over the last decade a much more disturbing characteristic has been increasing: depression.

A new study finds that one culprit may be a high fast-food, low plant–based diet. When researchers at the University of Alabama, Birmingham analyzed urine from a group of middle schoolers, they found high levels of sodium and low levels of potassium.

“High sodium, you’ve got to think of highly processed food,” said lead author Sylvie Mrug, Chair of the psychology department at UAB. “This includes fast food, frozen meals and unhealthy snacks. Low potassium, is an indication of a diet that lacks healthy fruits and vegetables that are rich in potassium, such as beans, sweet potatoes, spinach, tomatoes, bananas, oranges, avocados, yogurt and even salmon.”

The study also found that higher urine levels of sodium, and potassium at baseline, predicted more signs of depression a year and a half later, even after adjusting for variables such as blood pressure, weight, age and sex.

“The study findings make sense, as potassium-rich foods are healthy foods,” said dietitian Lisa Drayer, a CNN health and nutrition contributor. “So, if adolescents include more potassium-rich foods in their diet, they will likely have more energy and feel better overall — which can lead to a better sense of well-being and improved mental health.”

Disturbing trend

Depression among middle schoolers is on the rise. An analysis of national data found the rate of major depressive episodes among kids 12 to 17 within the last year had increased by a whopping 52% between 2005 and 2017.

The rate of depression, psychological distress and suicidal thoughts over the last year among older teens and young adults was even higher: 63%. Many factors could be contributing to the deadly trend among teens, including a chronic lack of sleep, an overuse of social media, even a fear of climate change.

Prior studies have similarly found a link between fast food, processed baked goods and depression in adults. One study in Spain followed almost 9,000 people over six years and found a 48% higher risk of depression in those who ate more highly processed foods.

Small sample, more research needed

The new study was small — only 84 middle school girls and boys, 95% African-American from low-income homes. But the methods were solid: They captured overnight urine samples to objectively test for high sodium and low potassium at baseline and again a year and a half later. Symptoms of depression were gathered on both occasions during interviews with the children and their parents.

But the study could only find an association between sodium and depression, not a cause and effect, and much more research needs to be done, Mrug said.

“It might also be true that a poor diet could be linked to other risk factors for depression, such as social isolation, lack of support, lack of resources and access to healthcare and substance abuse,” Drayer said.

“It might be hard to tease out if diet is the factor or simply a marker for other risk factors for depression.”

Healthy foods for teens:

Hard Boiled Eggs, Apples, String-cheese, Soft pretzels, Almonds, Peanut butter, anything with calcium.

Girls need extra iron:

  • Beef
  • Poultry
  • Pork
  • Clams
  • Oysters
  • Eggs

Good non-meat sources of iron include:

  • Vegetables (including spinach, green peas, and asparagus)
  • Beans
  • Nuts
  • Iron-fortified breads, cereal, rice, and pasta.

A multivitamin with 100% or less of the Daily Value for iron, vitamin D and other nutrients fills in the gaps in less-than-stellar diets.

CNN Health. Fast food and Teen Depression. https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/29/health/fast-food-teen-depression-wellness. Accessed August 30, 2019.

How To Help Your Teen Manage Morning Anxiety

As adults, some mornings getting out of bed isn’t easy and it’s mainly because of our massive to-do lists. Commonly, [and especially] for working moms, there’s a list for “work” and another equally, extensive list for “home” (i.e. car maintenance, domestic stuff, the kids schedules, etc.).

Many parents experience anxiety related procrastination, which can be more intense on Monday mornings, sometimes starting as early as Sunday. It’s no surprise that teens often feel the same way about school as we feel about work.

Although the stress is completely justified, there are ways to stave-off that familiar jolt of panic that hits during the first moments of the day.

Morning anxiety prevention actually starts the night before.

Here are a few tips that can help your teen fend-off morning anxiety.

  1. Don’t allow your teen to sleep with their phone.

Broken sleep and waking up with the phone right next to their head, experts find that doing so can jeopardize sleep quality, and cause more anxiety.

Before mandating that all phones be put in a separate room at bedtime, brace yourself for all the ‘attitude’ coming your way.

While trying to implement this in my own home, one excuse was, “But mom, I need my phone because I use the alarm to wake up in the morning”. Here are a couple of solutions designed specifically for this excuse: (1) Buy an old-school clock and put the phone in another room, or (2) Put the phone on airplane mode. This way they won’t get any alerts from Instagram but the alarm will still sound when it’s time to get up in the morning.

2. Share the benefits of writing down stressful thoughts before bed.

The thoughts that flood our minds in the morning might actually be leftover from the night before. Research shows that writing down what’s on your mind before you go to bed can help you let go of those thoughts, and set yourself up for success the following day.

Teach your child to take a few minutes before bedtime to jot down the worries running through their head, whether it’s big or small. This way they’ll also be able to see what’s causing them stress.

3. Help your teen to recognize time-zappers, especially during study time.

Mastering solid time management skills are extremely important for adolescents. Have them to make a list of the usual deflections (social media, TV, gaming,Youtube, oversleeping, etc.).

Next, allow your teen to decide how to organize time spent on each (making necessary edits of course). Since Sunday is technically a school night, restraint with those time-zappers should be practiced Sunday through Thursday. Emphasize the benefits of self-control and delayed gratification which are all extraordinary, transferrable life-skills.

4. Teach Time Management Techniques.

Time management is a tough skill for many adults and teens alike to master. But once a teen has the techniques they need to properly manage what needs to be done, they are far less likely to procrastinate.

Calendar updates. This one works like a charm for my family. In today’s world, kids are practically glued to their phones, but this dependency can be used to their advantage.

Starting in middle school, tweens should add daily assignments and upcoming exams into their cell phone calendar from their school planner every night.

Preparing for school the night before could be the single most important task on this list. Remind them to put everything they need in one pile so they don’t have to check again in the morning.

5. The key to success is preparation.

Encourage a habit of checking the weather report for the following day so they can get a better idea of how they should dress.

If you have a daughter who dresses according to how she ‘feels’, it’d be a good idea to have her get her clothes out for the entire week. This way if she has a mood swing in the morning, there are four additional outfits ready to go. This will save a ton of time and frustration in the morning. Trust me, I know.

At some point we all experience some level of anxiety but, if we can reduce or avoid it, why not?! It’s just preventative maintenance.

For more articles like this, follow the Youth Advocate Magazine on Flipboard: flip.it/bDfmwB

Your adult child resents the way you parented them. Here’s how to handle it.

You can be a good parent and have unintentionally caused hurt in your child.

This 8-step process will help you get through the conversation and build a better relationship with your grown children.

By Nicole Spector

As my husband and I deepen our discussions around family planning, we’re tackling a number of questions about budgeting, housing, childcare, employment and so on. Most of our inquiries are of a fairly practical nature, such as “How can we afford this?”, and “What kind of parental leave can we work out?”

But some of our questions tend to veer into the wild, snake-infested territory of “what ifs”. One of my favorites to ponder, with an urgent hopelessness, is “What if we screw up and our kid grows up to resent us for it?”

It’s an impossible question to answer right now, but in 20 years or so, I might be asking this same question, and justifiably so.

“Even when they do their best, parents fall short regardless and there will be memories and experiences that children find hurtful,” says Lauren Cook, MMFT, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at Pepperdine University. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent.”

So what is a parent to do if, after raising their kid as best they could, their grown child begrudges them for how they were raised or how said parent handled a particular issue?

Through consulting numerous therapists, we’ve pieced together a 8-step process detailing how parents can deal with this difficult situation, and ultimately build a better relationship with their grown children.

You can be a good parent and have unintentionally caused hurt in your child.

Continue reading…

— Read on www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/your-adult-child-resents-way-you-parented-them-here-s-ncna1042081

If Your Kid Has Anxiety, Take These Steps

“Hovering and helicopter parenting doesn’t make children safe; it makes them anxious,” Dr. Cohen says.

Approximately 4.4 million children ages 3 to 17 have been diagnosed with anxiety. Experts say kids whose parents exhibit anxious behaviors are more likely to show signs of anxiety themselves.

Here are six techniques for helping children handle anxiety.

1. First, empathize. “Have your child explain what he’s anxious about, and listen carefully,” says Jephtha Tausig, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City. Then, show you understand by using supportive language, such as, “It’s normal to feel nervous about taking the bus for the first time.” Don’t judge, dismiss or ridicule your child’s fears.

2. Teach ways to self-calm. Help your kid think of strategies she can use when she feels anxious. For young children, you might suggest turning to a favorite stuffed animal for comfort. Or counting. “Ask your child to give the anxiety a number from one to ten — or 1 to 100 — and then have her slowly count down from that number to zero,” Dr. Cohen says. An older kid could practice deep breathing or write her thoughts down on paper and then tear it up and throw it away.

You can also teach your kid to use positive self-talk.  For example, “I studied for the test, so I should do well,” instead of “I’m probably going to fail the test.” And, of course, let your child know she can come to you if she needs help.

3. Model calm behavior when facing your anxieties. “If you panic when confronted with certain things, like insects or thunderstorms, then your children may also come to view these things as dangerous or frightening,” Dr. Tausig says. Even if you think you’re hiding it, your child senses your anxiety.

“Children are smart, and many will pick up on things even if they aren’t explicitly mentioned,” says Dr. Tausig.

4. Consider your parenting style. “Hovering and helicopter parenting doesn’t make children safe; it makes them anxious,” Dr. Cohen says.

“Doing too much for your children, instead of allowing for manageable challenges, gives children the idea that their parents don’t think they are competent, which makes the world very scary,” he says.

5. Gradually confront the anxiety trigger. “You can take any situation that makes your child anxious and create a bravery ladder that gradually allows your child to face her fear,” says Dr. Pincus.

She recommends breaking the objective down into baby steps, making each one a touch harder.

For example, if your child’s anxiety is about attending a sleepover, a bottom step might be sleeping in a sibling’s room, a couple of steps up might be sleeping at a cousin’s house, and the very top could be going to a sleepover at a friend’s house.

6. Know when to get help. If your child’s fears or worries fit the criteria of an anxiety disorder mentioned above, discuss it with his pediatrician or a mental health provider.  Read more…

Reference:  Goodhousekeeping.com

Here’s Why Your Teen Feels Constantly Criticized

Whether or not [parents] actually express more criticism than praise, teens and tweens are particularly susceptible to a distorted way of thinking referred to as mental filtering.

By Alisa Crossfield, Ph.D., Psychology Today

One of the most common complaints I hear from my tween, teen and young adult clients is that their parents harp on what they do wrong and never recognize all they do right.

At times, I have heard it from my own kids as well. Though there is the rare occasion when this is an accurate reflection of what parents think, more often one of two things are happening, and often both.

One of the culprits in maintaining kids’ beliefs that parents only see what they do wrong stems from our desire to help them. That desire translates into a never-ending flow of constructive criticism.

Whether or not [parents] actually express more criticism than praise, teens and tweens are particularly susceptible to a distorted way of thinking referred to as mental filtering. 

Continue reading: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotionally-healthy-teens/201906/feeling-constantly-criticized

The Most Missed Signs That a Child Has Been Sexually Abused

In the United States, government authorities respond to a child sexual abuse report every 9 minutes. Recognizing the signs of abuse is the first step in protecting a child who’s in danger. Unfortunately, the signs aren’t always apparent.

Ninety-three percent (93%) of child sexual assault victims already know their abuser. Sexual predators are usually close to the family and in positions of trust, which means that parents and caregivers already have their guards down. It’s hard to fathom that someone in your inner-circle could be capable of violating a child.

Six child sex abuse signs that can be easily missed:

#1. The grooming stage.

One thing abusers have in common is their effort to gain trust.

Those efforts may include: gift giving without occasion or reason, allowing the child to witness them giving elaborate gifts to others (attempt to impress), taking the child out to eat, movies, being overly complimentary to the parent and/or child, extra time with one-on-one tutoring or coaching (alone time) trips out of town, and more.

Single moms beware! Initially you may be flattered that this person has taken a special interest in your child, but in reality the abuser sees you and your child as an easy target.

Keep your eye out for the grooming stage!

#2. Common misconceptions.

At least 1 in 6 men have experienced sexual abuse or assault, whether in childhood or as adults.  Don’t be blindsided!

Research on male childhood sexual abuse concluded that the problem is common, under-reported, under-recognized, and under-treated.

Parents, we must remain as diligent with protecting our sons as we are with protecting our daughters.

MYTH: Men who abuse boys are gay. FALSE.

Studies suggest that men who have sexually abused a boy most often identify as heterosexual and often are involved in adult heterosexual relationships at the time of abusive interaction. 

#3. Bedwetting or resuming behaviors they have grown out of.

Resuming behaviors of a younger child such as thumb sucking or wetting the bed are red-flags.

If you have a pre-teen or teenager, don’t dismiss bedwetting as just an isolated incidence. Pay attention!

#4. Unexplained bruising or spots on the sheets.

When children play outside and are involved in sports, a little blood here and there may not be cause for alarm. If you have boys, cuts and bruises are the norm and won’t even warrant a second look.

But, as we now know, any unexplained stains on the sheets or clothing is worth a mini-investigation.

#5. Sexual behavior that is inappropriate for the child’s age.

Other warning signs include; excessive talk about or knowledge of sexual topics, asking other children to behave sexually or play sexual games.

A toddler masturbating or mimicking adult-like sexual behaviors with stuffed animals, toys or other objects is a strong sign of sexual abuse.

#6. Typical pedophilia behavior: Tries to be a child’s friend rather than filling an adult role in the child’s life.

– Abusers are often in a positions which give them access to children (i.e. church, coaching, mentoring) either as a career or volunteer.

– The abuser may often talk with children about their personal problems and relationships.

– They may vocalize how much they “love kids” and have several relationships with children outside the scope of their professional realm.

Typical Signs in adolescents:

  • Self-injury (cutting, burning)
  • Inadequate personal hygiene
  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Sexual promiscuity
  • Running away from home
  • Depression, anxiety
  • Suicide attempts
  • Fear of intimacy or closeness
  • Compulsive eating or dieting

Violations of trust are betrayals that have lasting effects. Parents, this is a matter of life or death, you can’t be too cautious. Remember, you are not alone. If you suspect sexual abuse you can talk to someone who is trained to help.

National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.

Online Prevention Training- https://www.stopitnow.org/prevention-training-on-demand

References: Rainn.org, Stopitnow.org, 1in6- https://1in6.org/get-information/the-1-in-6-statistic/