Category: Parenting

How To Help Your Teen Manage Morning Anxiety

As adults, some mornings getting out of bed isn’t easy and it’s mainly because of our massive to-do lists. Commonly, [and especially] for working moms, there’s a list for “work” and another equally, extensive list for “home” (i.e. car maintenance, domestic stuff, the kids schedules, etc.).

Many parents experience anxiety related procrastination, which can be more intense on Monday mornings, sometimes starting as early as Sunday. It’s no surprise that teens often feel the same way about school as we feel about work.

Although the stress is completely justified, there are ways to stave-off that familiar jolt of panic that hits during the first moments of the day.

Morning anxiety prevention actually starts the night before.

Here are a few tips that can help your teen fend-off morning anxiety.

  1. Don’t allow your teen to sleep with their phone.

Broken sleep and waking up with the phone right next to their head, experts find that doing so can jeopardize sleep quality, and cause more anxiety.

Before mandating that all phones be put in a separate room at bedtime, brace yourself for all the ‘attitude’ coming your way.

While trying to implement this in my own home, one excuse was, “But mom, I need my phone because I use the alarm to wake up in the morning”. Here are a couple of solutions designed specifically for this excuse: (1) Buy an old-school clock and put the phone in another room, or (2) Put the phone on airplane mode. This way they won’t get any alerts from Instagram but the alarm will still sound when it’s time to get up in the morning.

2. Share the benefits of writing down stressful thoughts before bed.

The thoughts that flood our minds in the morning might actually be leftover from the night before. Research shows that writing down what’s on your mind before you go to bed can help you let go of those thoughts, and set yourself up for success the following day.

Teach your child to take a few minutes before bedtime to jot down the worries running through their head, whether it’s big or small. This way they’ll also be able to see what’s causing them stress.

3. Help your teen to recognize time-zappers, especially during study time.

Mastering solid time management skills are extremely important for adolescents. Have them to make a list of the usual deflections (social media, TV, gaming,Youtube, oversleeping, etc.).

Next, allow your teen to decide how to organize time spent on each (making necessary edits of course). Since Sunday is technically a school night, restraint with those time-zappers should be practiced Sunday through Thursday. Emphasize the benefits of self-control and delayed gratification which are all extraordinary, transferrable life-skills.

4. Teach Time Management Techniques.

Time management is a tough skill for many adults and teens alike to master. But once a teen has the techniques they need to properly manage what needs to be done, they are far less likely to procrastinate.

Calendar updates. This one works like a charm for my family. In today’s world, kids are practically glued to their phones, but this dependency can be used to their advantage.

Starting in middle school, tweens should add daily assignments and upcoming exams into their cell phone calendar from their school planner every night.

Preparing for school the night before could be the single most important task on this list. Remind them to put everything they need in one pile so they don’t have to check again in the morning.

5. The key to success is preparation.

Encourage a habit of checking the weather report for the following day so they can get a better idea of how they should dress.

If you have a daughter who dresses according to how she ‘feels’, it’d be a good idea to have her get her clothes out for the entire week. This way if she has a mood swing in the morning, there are four additional outfits ready to go. This will save a ton of time and frustration in the morning. Trust me, I know.

At some point we all experience some level of anxiety but, if we can reduce or avoid it, why not?! It’s just preventative maintenance.

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Statute of Limitation, How Does Your State Stack up?

Each state has laws that prevent someone from being prosecuted for a crime after a certain period of time, these are known as statutes of limitations.

When a crime is committed, there is a window of time that a state has to charge the perpetrator. The laws that determine this time frame are called criminal statutes of limitations. As high-profile cases of sexual violence continue to make headlines—and as survivors seek to report crimes—it can help to have a better understanding of these laws and how they vary.

Each state has laws that prevent someone from being prosecuted for a crime after a certain period of time, these are known as statutes of limitations. Some states provide exceptions to their time limits—for example, if DNA evidence is discovered, the state is allowed more time to prosecute.

Use this map to find out how your state compares: https://www.rainn.org/statutes-limitations

Where to report

  • If you know or suspect that a child has been sexually assaulted or abused you can report these crimes to the proper authorities, such as Child Protective Services. Reporting agencies vary from state to state. To see where to report to in your state, visit RAINN’s State Law Database.
  • Call or text the Childhelp National Abuse Hotline at 800.422.4453 to be connected with a trained volunteer. Childhelp Hotline crisis counselors can’t make the report for you, but they can walk you through the process and let you know what to expect.

To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.

Source: https://www.rainn.org/

Your adult child resents the way you parented them. Here’s how to handle it.

You can be a good parent and have unintentionally caused hurt in your child.

This 8-step process will help you get through the conversation and build a better relationship with your grown children.

By Nicole Spector

As my husband and I deepen our discussions around family planning, we’re tackling a number of questions about budgeting, housing, childcare, employment and so on. Most of our inquiries are of a fairly practical nature, such as “How can we afford this?”, and “What kind of parental leave can we work out?”

But some of our questions tend to veer into the wild, snake-infested territory of “what ifs”. One of my favorites to ponder, with an urgent hopelessness, is “What if we screw up and our kid grows up to resent us for it?”

It’s an impossible question to answer right now, but in 20 years or so, I might be asking this same question, and justifiably so.

“Even when they do their best, parents fall short regardless and there will be memories and experiences that children find hurtful,” says Lauren Cook, MMFT, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at Pepperdine University. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent.”

So what is a parent to do if, after raising their kid as best they could, their grown child begrudges them for how they were raised or how said parent handled a particular issue?

Through consulting numerous therapists, we’ve pieced together a 8-step process detailing how parents can deal with this difficult situation, and ultimately build a better relationship with their grown children.

You can be a good parent and have unintentionally caused hurt in your child.

Continue reading…

— Read on www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/your-adult-child-resents-way-you-parented-them-here-s-ncna1042081

If Your Kid Has Anxiety, Take These Steps

“Hovering and helicopter parenting doesn’t make children safe; it makes them anxious,” Dr. Cohen says.

Approximately 4.4 million children ages 3 to 17 have been diagnosed with anxiety. Experts say kids whose parents exhibit anxious behaviors are more likely to show signs of anxiety themselves.

Here are six techniques for helping children handle anxiety.

1. First, empathize. “Have your child explain what he’s anxious about, and listen carefully,” says Jephtha Tausig, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City. Then, show you understand by using supportive language, such as, “It’s normal to feel nervous about taking the bus for the first time.” Don’t judge, dismiss or ridicule your child’s fears.

2. Teach ways to self-calm. Help your kid think of strategies she can use when she feels anxious. For young children, you might suggest turning to a favorite stuffed animal for comfort. Or counting. “Ask your child to give the anxiety a number from one to ten — or 1 to 100 — and then have her slowly count down from that number to zero,” Dr. Cohen says. An older kid could practice deep breathing or write her thoughts down on paper and then tear it up and throw it away.

You can also teach your kid to use positive self-talk.  For example, “I studied for the test, so I should do well,” instead of “I’m probably going to fail the test.” And, of course, let your child know she can come to you if she needs help.

3. Model calm behavior when facing your anxieties. “If you panic when confronted with certain things, like insects or thunderstorms, then your children may also come to view these things as dangerous or frightening,” Dr. Tausig says. Even if you think you’re hiding it, your child senses your anxiety.

“Children are smart, and many will pick up on things even if they aren’t explicitly mentioned,” says Dr. Tausig.

4. Consider your parenting style. “Hovering and helicopter parenting doesn’t make children safe; it makes them anxious,” Dr. Cohen says.

“Doing too much for your children, instead of allowing for manageable challenges, gives children the idea that their parents don’t think they are competent, which makes the world very scary,” he says.

5. Gradually confront the anxiety trigger. “You can take any situation that makes your child anxious and create a bravery ladder that gradually allows your child to face her fear,” says Dr. Pincus.

She recommends breaking the objective down into baby steps, making each one a touch harder.

For example, if your child’s anxiety is about attending a sleepover, a bottom step might be sleeping in a sibling’s room, a couple of steps up might be sleeping at a cousin’s house, and the very top could be going to a sleepover at a friend’s house.

6. Know when to get help. If your child’s fears or worries fit the criteria of an anxiety disorder mentioned above, discuss it with his pediatrician or a mental health provider.  Read more…

Reference:  Goodhousekeeping.com

How Your Parents Behaviors Shape Who You Are Today

If your mom was constantly stressed, you were more likely to be worse at math.

Whether your parents were your best friends or you barely knew them, your relationship with Mom and Dad had an impact on who you are today.

At least that’s what Sigmund Freud said when he theorized that our adult personality develops from early childhood experiences, an insight empirically tested by attachment theory and developmental psychology through the 20th century up until today.

Here are 10 ways your parents shaped who you are today.

1. If your mother was constantly juggling multiple jobs, you are likely to suffer from stress.

2. If your parents spoke negatively about their body, you are more likely to have low self-confidence.  Continue Reading…

Meet The Psychologists Helping Teens to Manage Mental Health and Reduce Self-harm

The DBT service aims to replace problematic behaviours with skillful ones, help teenagers navigate relationships and experience a range of emotions without necessarily acting on them.

By Bethan ShufflebothamCommunity Reporter

Five years ago there were no specific interventions for young people who were self-harming and feeling suicidal outside of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and family therapy.

In December 2014, the Trust’s Children and Adult Mental Health Service (CAMHS), was set up to meet the growing demand of young people with high levels of mental health needs in North Staffordshire.

Specifically, the team assisted teenagers aged 13 to 17 going through emotional difficulties which were causing them to self-harm or attempt to take their own lives.

The aim is to replace problematic behaviors with skillful ones, help teenagers navigate relationships and experience a range of emotions without necessarily acting on them.

Some states now allow students to take “mental health days.” This is an opportunity to start a conversation about how to address mental health in schools. Continue reading…

Here’s Why Your Teen Feels Constantly Criticized

Whether or not [parents] actually express more criticism than praise, teens and tweens are particularly susceptible to a distorted way of thinking referred to as mental filtering.

By Alisa Crossfield, Ph.D., Psychology Today

One of the most common complaints I hear from my tween, teen and young adult clients is that their parents harp on what they do wrong and never recognize all they do right.

At times, I have heard it from my own kids as well. Though there is the rare occasion when this is an accurate reflection of what parents think, more often one of two things are happening, and often both.

One of the culprits in maintaining kids’ beliefs that parents only see what they do wrong stems from our desire to help them. That desire translates into a never-ending flow of constructive criticism.

Whether or not [parents] actually express more criticism than praise, teens and tweens are particularly susceptible to a distorted way of thinking referred to as mental filtering. 

Continue reading: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotionally-healthy-teens/201906/feeling-constantly-criticized

American Student Loan Debt reaches $1.5 Trillion

Lately, an increased emphasis on financial literacy has become a focus in helping students plan for higher education.

According to MarketWatch, a recent study conducted by the U.S. Financial Literacy and Education Commission developed best practice recommendations in response to the total amount of student loan debt reaching nearly $1.5 trillion in 2019.

Did it really take another “study” (paid for by taxpayers) to figure out student loan debt is out of control?

Read more…

Almost two-thirds of children worry ‘all the time’

Article by BBC News:  Research among 700 children aged 10 and 11 for the mental-health charity Place2Be suggests almost two-thirds worry “all the time”.  Here’s what 10 and 11 year olds worry about the most…

Read… www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-38861155

Florida joins New York and Virginia in requiring yearly mental health courses to public middle and high school students

Florida public schools will be required to teach at least five hours of mental health instruction to all students in sixth through twelfth grades every year.
— Read on abcnews.go.com/US/florida-require-mental-health-courses-public-schools-beginning/story