Tag: Mental Health Awareness

Don’t Be Afraid To Rewrite Your Past

Your past, present, and future are all happening right now—at least in your mind.

Something for parents and teens.

According to the Theory of Narrative Identity, developed by scholar and researcher Dr. Dan McAdams, we form our identity by integrating our life experiences into an internalized, evolving story of ourselves which gives a sense of unity and purpose to our lives. 

This life narrative integrates our reconstructed past, perceived present, and imagined future. All three coexist at the same time. Hence, from an experiential standpoint, the past, present, and future are not separate and linear, but holistic and co-occurring. 

In other words, your past, present, and future are all happening right now—at least in your mind. As American writer and Nobel Prize laureate, William Faulkner famously put it, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.”

When you change the meaning and narrative of your past, you simultaneously change the narrative of your present and future. And vice versa.

Changing the narrative of your present and future simultaneously alters the meaning or narrative of your past. 

The story we hold of ourselves is continually evolving and changing based on the experiences we are having. No, the facts about your past can’t change. But the story you tell yourself about them absolutely can change.

Unfortunately, most people are not strategic about their narrative identity. They aren’t conscious of the meaning-making process they instinctively go through in their day-to-day life, and as a result, they often shape limiting stories based on the emotions they are experiencing. 

Your entire identity and view of the world is a meaning. A story. The questions to ask yourself: Is this story serving you? Is this the story you want to tell?

The story you have in your mind about the world at large and yourself as an individual is far from objective.  Chances are, much of who you believe you are is based on stories that you tell yourself, that have come from experiences in your past. Potentially traumatic experiences wherein you didn’t or haven’t had an empathetic witness help you to positively and powerfully frame those experiences. 

A fundamental aspect of reframing the past is to shift what was formerly seen as a negative experience into a positive one.

Having studied this for over a decade, I’ve never seen a more useful reframing technique that what Dan Sullivan calls, “The Gap and the Gain.”  Continue Reading…

By: Benjamin Hardy Ph.D., https://www.psychologytoday.com

‘It’s okay to have an off-day, it’s okay to break down and cry … But then it’s important to get back up’

Her smile would light up any room; inside she was tortured by dark thoughts, which left her feeling so empty she’s made four attempts to take her own life.

By Ally McGilvray

It’s one of the most common types of mental illness.

But Gwyneth Hume, from Kelso, says Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is still widely misunderstood.

The 21-year-old survivor is opening up on her battle with BPD to help raise awareness and encourage others to seek help.

She told Radio Borders News: “If I had one message for someone who’s struggling, I’d say it’s really important to look at yourself as an individual. Sometimes you have to be selfish and put yourself first.”

“I went through an absolutely horrific heartbreak in January and I didn’t think I’d ever get over that. And then I was like: ‘Do you know what? It’s time for me to build my own life.’ Because you need to think about making yourself happy before you even think about making anyone else happy.”

While, on the outside, Gwyneth’s smile would light up any room; inside she was tortured by dark thoughts, which left her feeling so empty she’s made four attempts to take her own life.

She said: “This last attempt on my life has made me realise I don’t actually want to die, but I want my life how it is to end. So I think that’s what made me think I need to speak out about what’s going on.”Continue reading…

Source: planetradio.co.uk

Your adult child resents the way you parented them. Here’s how to handle it.

You can be a good parent and have unintentionally caused hurt in your child.

This 8-step process will help you get through the conversation and build a better relationship with your grown children.

By Nicole Spector

As my husband and I deepen our discussions around family planning, we’re tackling a number of questions about budgeting, housing, childcare, employment and so on. Most of our inquiries are of a fairly practical nature, such as “How can we afford this?”, and “What kind of parental leave can we work out?”

But some of our questions tend to veer into the wild, snake-infested territory of “what ifs”. One of my favorites to ponder, with an urgent hopelessness, is “What if we screw up and our kid grows up to resent us for it?”

It’s an impossible question to answer right now, but in 20 years or so, I might be asking this same question, and justifiably so.

“Even when they do their best, parents fall short regardless and there will be memories and experiences that children find hurtful,” says Lauren Cook, MMFT, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at Pepperdine University. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent.”

So what is a parent to do if, after raising their kid as best they could, their grown child begrudges them for how they were raised or how said parent handled a particular issue?

Through consulting numerous therapists, we’ve pieced together a 8-step process detailing how parents can deal with this difficult situation, and ultimately build a better relationship with their grown children.

You can be a good parent and have unintentionally caused hurt in your child.

Continue reading…

— Read on www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/your-adult-child-resents-way-you-parented-them-here-s-ncna1042081

If Your Kid Has Anxiety, Take These Steps

“Hovering and helicopter parenting doesn’t make children safe; it makes them anxious,” Dr. Cohen says.

Approximately 4.4 million children ages 3 to 17 have been diagnosed with anxiety. Experts say kids whose parents exhibit anxious behaviors are more likely to show signs of anxiety themselves.

Here are six techniques for helping children handle anxiety.

1. First, empathize. “Have your child explain what he’s anxious about, and listen carefully,” says Jephtha Tausig, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City. Then, show you understand by using supportive language, such as, “It’s normal to feel nervous about taking the bus for the first time.” Don’t judge, dismiss or ridicule your child’s fears.

2. Teach ways to self-calm. Help your kid think of strategies she can use when she feels anxious. For young children, you might suggest turning to a favorite stuffed animal for comfort. Or counting. “Ask your child to give the anxiety a number from one to ten — or 1 to 100 — and then have her slowly count down from that number to zero,” Dr. Cohen says. An older kid could practice deep breathing or write her thoughts down on paper and then tear it up and throw it away.

You can also teach your kid to use positive self-talk.  For example, “I studied for the test, so I should do well,” instead of “I’m probably going to fail the test.” And, of course, let your child know she can come to you if she needs help.

3. Model calm behavior when facing your anxieties. “If you panic when confronted with certain things, like insects or thunderstorms, then your children may also come to view these things as dangerous or frightening,” Dr. Tausig says. Even if you think you’re hiding it, your child senses your anxiety.

“Children are smart, and many will pick up on things even if they aren’t explicitly mentioned,” says Dr. Tausig.

4. Consider your parenting style. “Hovering and helicopter parenting doesn’t make children safe; it makes them anxious,” Dr. Cohen says.

“Doing too much for your children, instead of allowing for manageable challenges, gives children the idea that their parents don’t think they are competent, which makes the world very scary,” he says.

5. Gradually confront the anxiety trigger. “You can take any situation that makes your child anxious and create a bravery ladder that gradually allows your child to face her fear,” says Dr. Pincus.

She recommends breaking the objective down into baby steps, making each one a touch harder.

For example, if your child’s anxiety is about attending a sleepover, a bottom step might be sleeping in a sibling’s room, a couple of steps up might be sleeping at a cousin’s house, and the very top could be going to a sleepover at a friend’s house.

6. Know when to get help. If your child’s fears or worries fit the criteria of an anxiety disorder mentioned above, discuss it with his pediatrician or a mental health provider.  Read more…

Reference:  Goodhousekeeping.com

You Don’t Have To Be a Veteran To Have PTSD

Depression is an illness, PTSD is a psychiatric anxiety disorder. It’s possible to have both at the same time.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is extremely different from typical anxiety and depression. Although, depression and PTSD share certain symptoms, many don’t realize that it is possible to experience both conditions at the same time.

You don’t have to be in the military to have PTSD.

According to David Yusko, Psy.D., Perelman School of Medicine,                  PTSD symptoms can develop from experiences involving natural disasters, serious accidents, life-threatening illnesses, physical abuse, and sexual assault during childhood or adulthood.

A traumatic event that precedes the onset of PTSD can be experienced either directly or indirectly by an individual.

Learning how a loved one died a violent death, or watching someone be assaulted, are examples of indirect trauma exposure.

The Difference Between PTSD and Depression

Depression doesn’t just go away overnight, it’s an illness that can be treated with therapy or medication.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a psychiatric, anxiety disorder that happens after experiencing a horrible event.

Although military veterans constitute a great proportion of cases- PTSD can also be caused by various traumatizing events, for example:

  • Death of a loved one, family member or friend by suicide or homicide
  • Directly experiencing or witnessing traumatic events
  • Serious car accident
  • Physical assault
  • Sexual violation
  • Exposure to actual or threatened death
  • Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
  • Learning that a traumatic events occurred to a close family member or friend

Common Symptoms of PTSD:

  1. Persistent avoidance of distressing memories
  2. Detachment or estrangement from others
  3. Lack of motivation
  4. Thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic events or of external reminders (i.e., people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations)
  5. Insomnia
  6. Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic events (not due to head injury, alcohol, or drugs)
  7. Jumpy/ easily startled
  8. Persistent irritability, anger, lashing out
  9. Nightmares
  10. Memory loss, difficulty recalling recent events unrelated to the trauma
  11. Distorted blame of self or others about the cause/consequences of traumatic events
  12. Persistent fear, horror, guilt, or shame
  13. Exaggerated negative beliefs (e.g., “I’m bad,” “No one can be trusted,” “The world is completely dangerous”)
  14. Diminished interest or participation in significant activities
  15. Persistent inability to experience positive emotions
  16. Numbing or self medicating, drugs and alcohol

Help & Referrals

HelpGuide.org – https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/ptsd-symptoms-self-help-treatment.htm

American Psychiatric Association – https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd

National Institute of Mental Health – https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml

Please visit the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) website to learn more about other treatment options for PTSD. Additional resources include the Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety, the VA’s National Center for PTSD, the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, and any rape crisis center near you.

Source: https://www.anxiety.org/

Does Your Child Have a Fear of Silence? It could be Sedatephobia!

“Silence”, it is said, ‘speaks a thousand words’. But to some people, silence can be downright scary. There is a term for this phobia: Sedatephobia. People suffering from Sedatephobia cannot withstand silence; they constantly need noise and human interaction.

The word originates from Greek ‘Sedate’ meaning ‘silent or sleeping or dead’ and Phobos meaning the Greek God of fear, or dread or aversion.

Sedatephobia was relatively unheard of 50 years ago. However, today, it is a fairly common phobia. Expert hypnotists and psychotherapists are seeing large numbers of Sedatephobic individuals in their offices and they believe that these numbers will continue to rise in the coming decades.

For Sedatephobic individuals, darkness might not be scary, but the silence and lack of noise can bring on a full blown panic attack. This constant neediness can be very harmful to the individual.

Symptoms of fear of silence

Excessive noise can be debilitating and can bring on headaches. However, it is silence that can cause various symptoms in a Sedatephobe. Power cuts can be especially trying to such people, since they are left without technology, noise, music or movies around to comfort them.

When left in silence, the phobic might have a full blown panic attack which may be characterized by following symptoms:

  • Shivering, shaking, trembling
  • Having dry mouth and sweaty palms
  • Inability to speak or express themselves: feeling detached from reality and having thoughts of death or dying
  • Feeling numb, feeling like crying or fleeing
  • Experiencing rapid heartbeat, nausea, gastrointestinal distress etc

Sometimes, a person with Sedatephobia can also feel afraid in a group when people stop talking or there is a lull in the conversation.

Exam times can be especially hard for these individuals. Spending time in a library or even trying to sleep alone can be a scary time for the sufferers of fear of silence phobia.

Causes of Sedatephobia

Like all other specific phobias, the fear of silence is usually caused by a traumatic or negative episode in the phobic’s life. Some phobics, for example might have been locked up or abused by an adult,(some having been kept in basements or closets for punishment where no outside sound reaches them).

The feelings the child has experienced then can get permanently etched on his/her mind. News of a loved one’s death or other traumatic/negative episode associated with silence can also bring on this phobia.

Many experts believe that technology has also given rise to the constant need for sounds around humans.

For some people, it is impossible to meditate or sit in a quiet room for even a few minutes as they always need their phone, music, TV, or the noise of traffic around them.

To be left in silence can mean being “hunted down by supernatural beings or things that go bump into the night”. It also brings the fear of the unknown.

Most sufferers of Sedatephobia also tend to have inherent anxieties. They may inherently have monophobia (the fear of being left alone). The fear of ghosts is also associated with this phobia.

Other causes of the fear of silence phobia include adrenal insufficiencies, depression, hormonal imbalances, and delusional paranoia.

Treating and overcoming the phobia

Family members can play an important role in helping an individual overcome his/her fear of silence.

Talking about the fear to a loved one (or in group therapy) can provide relief to some extent. Else it is best to seek professional help from a professional Therapist or Psychiatrist.

Today, many modern therapies like CBT (or cognitive behavior therapy), NLP or neurolinguistics programming and systematic desensitization therapies are known to help reduce anxiety experienced by Sedatephobia.

All these treatments can help one get to the root of the fear of silence phobia and help the sufferer overcome it once and for all.

Source and original article by: Jacob Olesen. https://www.fearof.net/fear-of-silence-phobia-sedatephobia/